Once I got over the shock of my cancer diagnosis, began to accept the reality of months of chemotherapy, I turned to the positive. It would be a good time to be taking it easy for a while. March Madness was on the immediate horizon, the college softball season was coming into full swing, and there was a presidential race heating up. I had a great friend who was retired like me, and we could go to the movies, meet for lunch or coffee, and when I felt like it, there were the season tickets to the Kentucky softball games we bought several weeks before. A legion of friends was with me, ready to go do fun things; lunch, hang out at the park, perhaps gather for a shrimp and crab boil. To be productive and get out of the house, I would volunteer to help out in my church’s office. There were so many things that I loved and enjoyed, and the doctor said I could do whatever I felt like, and many days I would probably feel pretty good. I may want to wear a medical mask when I was in crowds, the … [Read more...] about The New Normal
Hugging
My mother taught me how to hug. I mean really, really hug. Not in the polite way much of society hugs these days, but in full body to body contact, with arms pulling you in tight to seal the deal. You mean a lot to me; my mother says through her hugs. You matter to me, and I am so glad that you are in my life, and right now, with this gesture, I share all that I am with all that you are. B once told me, after we had been together for years, that my hug was one of the first things that attracted her to me. That, and of course my sparkling personality. As I was getting ready to come back home from my last trip to Alabama, I went to tell my mother goodbye, and that I would see her again in a few weeks. She was in bed, where she spends most of her time now, and I leaned down to give her a hug and a kiss. I wrapped my arms under her back, and felt hers around me. And then, she caught me off guard. She pulled me in and held me to her chest, hugging me tight, tighter than she had in … [Read more...] about Hugging
Seventeen
I’ve only been in a delivery room once, that being the September morning I was born. I suppose I was crying with my first breath, if the TV dramas from that time period are to be believed. A doctor or nurse probably gave me a little push and off I went, crying and wailing, all the while sucking in the first breaths that were to become my life. Our Baby Blue This past Monday came like that. I woke up and looked at the date, February 17, a good sign. Seventeen had always been one of my favorite numbers, so I arose from my bed confident that it would be a good day to get the pathology report from my doctor. The news would be good, and after a couple of short treatments “just to be sure,” I would be on my way. Healthy again, ready to jump right back into my favorite activities and head to Alabama to help out with family matters. I would dust that cancer right off, thankful I had dodged the bullet and equipped with a heightened sense of compassion and empathy for people who had … [Read more...] about Seventeen
Evolving
Evolving. That word has been used a lot in the last few weeks. The news reporters and opinion leaders used the word to describe our nation’s shift on marriage equality and recognition of our symbols of oppression, meaning the Confederate flag. The Fourth Estate tells us minds are being changed, at least in the collective sense. In some ways I agree, I don’t believe marriage equality would be a reality today if it weren’t for the changing of hearts and minds on the issue. The Confederate flag would still be flying with hardly a political comment, if the white institutions holding the power had not finally, finally, for god’s sake finally realized and admitted that flying the Confederate flag is, at a minimum, a true danger for those living in the crosshairs of hatred, and, in a larger sense, a downright affront to the collective citizenry. I thought about writing about Charleston for a while. The atrocity that happened there affected us deeply, and I wanted to write something … [Read more...] about Evolving
Southern Voice: Amber Benson
I almost deleted her email. There it was, listed with all my other emails, most of which offered me a discount to Kohls, Best Buy, Tire Discounters, or burial plots. Fortunately, enough of the message was visible on my phone, so I opened it up and read it. It was one of those messages that make your day. She told me that she had read my book for Audible, and that it was a joy to read. After a few more nice words, she signed her name, Amber Benson. I replied with a standard, though heartfelt thank you and hit send. And then I thought, Amber Benson, I’ve heard that name before. I don’t know why I recalled it immediately, but I did. She had played Tara on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which was one of my favorite shows back when I was still recording on VHS tapes. I wrote back immediately, and Amber confirmed that yes, she was that Amber Benson. My mind began to swirl with all the things that made the world so weird and wonderful. I thought of my college days, and how my BFF and I had … [Read more...] about Southern Voice: Amber Benson